Never Giving Up
- By Superadministrator
- 1 month ago
Okay, let's start by me asking you what hurts the most?.... Ignorance? Betrayal? Break-up? Heartbreak?......No, none of these.
The thing that hurts the most, the thing that kills you deep inside is the disappointment in your parents' eyes. And that gets worse when they are disappointed in YOU.
Whomsoever my mother met, they did not compliment her for her beautiful attire or her sparkling jewellery, but they complimented her by saying, "Oh!, You're blessed with such a daughter who is just fantastic in every field." Whenever I scored good grades, or won prizes in arts or debates, her broad smile gave me the satisfaction that okay, I am going in the right path.
But for the first time in forever, I saw her being disappointed in me and that cut me to the core.
I don't blame her at all for this because I was the one who raised her expectations by scoring 97.4% in my 10th Board Examinations. I was considered 'brilliant' at that time still not as good as some others. In class 11, I opted for Biology as I was really fascinated by it, but my grades fell drastically. My half Yearly Examinations score almost depressed me but my mother motivated me.
Then came the second unit tests, and I didn't perform well especially in Biology, my favorite subject, infact, my score was really bad and my mom wasn't happy at all....I could see it in her eyes. Though she didn't say much, I knew. The charm in her eyes disappeared at once. Her expressions were a combination of anger and sadness and disappointment and she even asked me to change my subject and not waste my time....and I don't blame her at all...she was upset , I made her upset.
I can't even talk to her by looking in her eyes. Though my mother has reconciled, she shows that she is okay with it, but I know she isn't.....
I just want to build her faith in me again, which is hard I guess......I want to cry, I want to cry my heart out because I can't have her walking around every day acting like nothing happened but I can't....and I believe this is what is helping me to build my pace again as I have my Annuals coming up soon and I shall go through anything to make her trust me again.
Do anything you wish to, but never ever hurt your parents intentionally or unintentionally because trust me it ultimately hurts you....a lot.